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Alt 02.11.08, 21:40   #71 (permalink)
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Arrow Talk Soup

Talk Soup

I dated Siamese twins
I slept with Bigfoot, too
Get me on Sally Jesse
Put me on Donahue
'Cause I wanna tell the world about it
Right Now

My dog's a narcoleptic
My mom's a circus freak
I gotta get a spot on
Geraldo's show this week
'Cause I wanna tell the world about it
Right Now

I'm just an anorexic codependant bingo addict
Stripper born without a chin
And I'm only comfortable talking about it
When the whole wide world is listening in

Talk Soup Talk Soup
Listen to me, (listen to me) listen to me, (listen to me) listen to me

My wife ran off with Elvis
My boss shaved off my hair
I've got a thing for poodles
And rubber underwear
And I wanna tell the world about it
Right Now

I had a close encounter
I never chew my food
I got eleven nose jobs
I yodel in the nude
And I wanna tell the world about it
Right Now

I'm just a cross dressin' alcoholic neo Nazi
Porno star, as you may have guessed
And I'm really gonna feel a whole lot better
If you let me get this thing off my chest

Talk Soup Talk Soup
Listen to me, (listen to me) listen to me, (listen to me) listen to me

I'm just your average schizophrenic nymphomaniac
Albino go go dancer, you see
Nothin' so bad that I can't share it
With a billion friends on national TV, whoa...

I have no genitalia
I sold my kids for cheese
I love my blow up doll, so
Bring out those cameras, please
'Cause I wanna tell the world about it
Right Now

Talk Soup Talk Soup
Listen to me, (listen to me) listen to me, (listen to me) listen to me

Talk Soup Talk Soup
Listen to me, (listen to me) listen to me, (listen to me) listen to me

Talk Soup Talk Soup
Listen to me, (listen to me) listen to me, (listen to me) listen to me

Talk Soup Talk Soup
Listen to me, (listen to me) listen to me, (listen to me) listen to me...


Weird Al Yankovic
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Alt 02.11.08, 21:41   #72 (permalink)
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Arrow The Biggest Ball Of Twine In Minnesota

The Biggest Ball Of Twine In Minnesota

Well, I had two weeks of vacation time coming
After working all year down at Big Roy's Heating And Plumbing
So one night when my family the I were gathered 'round the dinner table
I said, "Kids, if you could go anywhere in this great big world, now
Where'd you like to go ta"
They said, "Dad, we wanna see the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota"
They picked the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota

So the very next day we loaded up the car
With potato skins and pickled weiners,
Crossword puzzles, Spider Man comics, and mama's home made rhubarb pie
Pulled out of the driveway and the neighbors, they all waved goodbye
And so began our three day journey

We picked up a guy holding a sign that said "twine ball or bust"
He smelled real bad and he said his name was Bernie
I put in a Slim Whitman tape, my wife put on a brand new hair net
Kids were in the back seat jumping up and down,
yelling "Are we there yet?"
And all of us were joined together in one common thought
As we rolled down the long and winding interstate in our '53 DeSoto
We're gonna see the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota
We're headin' for the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota

Oh, we couldn't wait to get there
So we drove straight through for three whole days and nights
Of course, we stopped for more pickled weiners now and then
The scenery was just so pretty, boy I wish the kids could've seen it
But you can't see out of the side of the car
Because the windows are completely covered
With the decals from all the places where we've already been

Like Elvis-O-Rama, the Tupperware Museum,
The Boll Weevil Monument, and Cranberry World,
The Shuffleboard Hall Of Fame, Poodle Dog Rock,
And The Mecca of Albino Squirrels
We've been to ghost towns, theme parks, wax museums,
And the place where you can drive through the middle of a tree
We've seen alligator farms and tarantula ranches,
But there's still one thing we gotta see

Well, we crossed the state line about 6:39
And we saw the sign that said "Twine Ball exit - 50 miles"
Oh, the kids were so happy they started singing
"99 Bottles Of Beer On The Wall" for the 27th time that day
So, we pulled off the road at the last chance gas station
Got a few more pickled weiners and a diet chocolate soda
On our way to see the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota
We're gonna see the biggest ball of tiwne in Minnesota

Finally, at 7:37 early Wednesday evening as the sun was setting
in the Minnesota sky
Out in the distance, on the horizon, it appeared to me like a vision
before my unbelieving eyes
I parked the car and walked with awe filled reverence towards that
glorious huge majestic sphere
I was just so overwhelmed by its sheer imensity,
I had to pop myself a beer
Yes, on these hallowed grounds, open ten to eight on weekdays,
in a little shrine under a makeshift pagoda,
There sits the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota
I tell you, it's the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota

Oh, what on earth would make a man decide to do that kind of thing?
Oh, windin' up twenty one thousand, one hundred forty pounds of string
What was he trying to prove, who was he trying to impress
Why did he build it, how did he do it, it's anybody's guess
Where did he get the twine, what was goin' through his mind
Did it just seem like a good idea at the time

Well, we walked up beside it and I warned the kids
"Now, you better not touch it, those ropes are there for a reason"
I said, "Maybe if you're good, I'll tie it to the back of our car
and we can take it home", but I was only teasinThen we went to the gift shop and stood in line
Bought a souvenir miniature ball of twine, some window decals,
and anything else they'd sell us
And I bought a couple postcards, "Greetings from the twine ball,
wish you were here"
Won't the folks back home be jealous

I gave our camera to Bernie and we stood by the ball and we all gathered
'round and said, "Cheese"
The Bernie ran away with my brand new Insta-matic,
but at least we got our memories
Then we all just stared at the ball for a while and my eyes got moist,
but I said with a smile, "Kids, this here's what America's all about"
Then I started feelin' kinda gooey inside and I fell on my knees
and I cried and cried
And that's when those security guards threw us out
You know, I bet if we unravelled that sucker,
It'd roll all the way down to Fargo, North Dakota
'Cause it's the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota
I'm talkin' 'bout the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota

Well, we stayed that night at the Twine Ball Inn
In the morning we were on our way home again
But we really didn't want to leave, that was perfectly clear
I said, "Folks, I can tell you're all sad to go"
Then I winked my eye and I said, "You know, I got a funny kind of feelin'
we'll be comin' back again next year"
'Cause I've been all around this great big world
And I can't think of anywhere else I'd rather go to
Than the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota
I said the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota
Minnesota...


Weird Al Yankovic
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Alt 02.11.08, 21:44   #73 (permalink)
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Arrow The Hot Rocks Polka

The Hot Rocks Polka

If I could stick my hand in my heart
Spill it all over the stage
Would it satisfy you
Would it slide on by you
Would you think the boy is strange
Ain't it stra a ange

If I could win
If I could sing
A love song so divine
Would it be enough for your cheating heart
If I broke down and cried
If I cri i ied
I said, "Ah no, It's only rock 'n' roll
But I like it
Ah no, it's only rock 'n' roll
But I like it, like it
Yes I do
I really really really really do do do do do"
Hey

Gold coast slave ship bound for cotton fields
Sold in a market down in New Orleans
Scarred old slaver knows he's doin' all right
Hear they whip the women just around midnight

Brown sugar
How come you taste so good
Brown sugar
Just like a young girl should

I saw her today at the reception
A glass of wine in her hand
I knew she would make her connection
By her feet was a footloose man

You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
But if you try sometimes
You might find
You get what you need

You need honkey tonk women
Gimme gimme gimme the honkey tonk blues

Under my thumb
The girl who once had me down
Under my thumb
The girl who once pushed me around
It's down to me
Yes it is
The way she talks when she's spoken to
Down to me
The change has come
She's under my thumb

So, goodbye ruby Tuesday
Who could hang a name on you
When you change with every new day
Still, I'm gonna miss you

Who who who who who

Who who who who who
Who who who who who

Who who who who who

Please allow me to introdue myself
I'm a man of wealth and taste (woo woo)
I've been around for a long long year
So many a man sold a faith (woo woo)
Pleased to meet you (woo woo)
Hope you guessed (woo woo) my name (woo woo woo woo)
'Cause what's bothering you (woo woo)
Is the nature (woo woo) of my game (woo woo woo woo)

I said, "Hey! You! Get off of my cloud!
Hey! You! Get off of my cloud!
Hey! You! Get off of my cloud!
Don't hang around because two's a crowd

Shay do bay, shatter, shay do bay, shatter

Laughter, joy, and lonliness
And sex and sex and sex and sex
Look at me
I'm in tatters
Shay do bay, I'm shattered
Shay do bay, shatter

This doesn't happen to me every day, oh my
Let's spend the night together
No excuses offered anyway, oh my
Let's spend the night together
I'll satisfy your every need (every need)
And I know you'll satisfy me
Ma ma ma ma ma ma my
Let's spend the night together
Now I need you more than ever
Let's spend the night together now
Ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma my

I can't get no
Satisfaction
I can't get no
Girlie action
'Cause I try (and I try) and I try (and I try)
And I try (and I try) and I try (and I try)
I can't get no
I can't get no
I can't get no
Satisfaction
Satisfaction...


Weird Al Yankovic
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Alt 02.11.08, 21:45   #74 (permalink)
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Arrow The Night Santa Went Crazy

The Night Santa Went Crazy

Down in the workshop all the elves were makin' toys
For the good Gentile girls and the good Gentile boys
When the boss busted in, nearly scared 'em half to death
Had a rifle in his hands and cheap whiskey on his breath
From his beard to his boots he was covered with ammo
Like a big fat drunk disgruntled Yuletide Rambo
And he smiled as he said with a twinkle in his eye,
"Merry Christmas to all now you're all gonna die!"

The night Santa went crazy
The night St. Nick went insane
Realized he'd been gettin' a raw deal
Something finally must have snapped in his brain

Well, the workshop is gone now, he decided to bomb it
Everywhere you'll find pieces of Cupid and Comet
And he tied up his helpers and he held the elves hostage
And he ground up poor Rudolph into reindeer sausage
He got Dancer and Prancer with an old German Luger
And he slashed up Dasher just like Freddy Krueger
And he picked up a flamethrower and he barbequed Blitzen
And he took a big bite and said, "It tastes just like chicken!"

The night Santa went crazy
The night Kris Kringle went nuts
Now you can't hardly walk around the North Pole
Without steppin' in reindeer guts

There's the National Guard and the F.B.I.
There's a van from the Eyewitness News
And helicopters circlin' 'round in the sky
And the bullets are flyin', the body count's risinAnd everyone's dyin' to know, oh Santa, why?
My my my my my my
You used to be such a jolly guy

Yes, Virginia, now Santa's doin' time
In a federal prison for his infamous crime
Hey, little friend, now don't you cry no more tears
He'll be out with good behavior in 700 more years
But now Vixen's in therapy and Donner's still nervous
And the elves all got jobs working for the postal service
And they say Mrs. Clause, she's on the phone every night
With her lawyer negotiating the movie rights

They're talkin' bout the night Santa went crazy
The night St. Nicholas flipped
Broke his back for some milk and cookies
Sounds to me like he was tired of gettin' gypped

Wo, the night Santa went crazy
The night St. Nick went insane
Realized he's gettin' a raw deal
Something finally must have snapped in his brain
Wo, something finally must have snapped in his brain
Tell ya, something finally must have snapped in his brain...


Weird Al Yankovic
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Alt 02.11.08, 21:48   #75 (permalink)
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Arrow The Plumbing Song

The Plumbing Song

(Announcer)
"Who fixes plumbing problems in a flash?
Twenty four hours a day? Seven days a week?")

Baby, I sure wish I could lend you a hand
But plumbing's one thing I don't understand
It's true (Haven't got a clue)
Baby, I can tell you've got a big problem
When I flush the john, then your shower goes on
(Baby) Now watcha gonna do?
If Drano's a joke and your plunger is broke
Baby, call the mensch with a monkey wrench
(Baby) He'll be there for you

Shower's backing up (up, up)?
Water won't go down (down, down)?
Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba, baby
Don't forget my plumber
Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba, baby
Sink's been stopped up all summer
Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba, baby
Better call the plumber
He'll know what to do

Pipes been blowing up
Pipes been breaking down
And the carpet's soaked right through
Ba ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba ba
Ba ba ba ba ba, kitchen's flooded, too
Ba ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba ba
Ba ba ba ba ba, girl, you know it's true

Betcha this guy makes more than my lawer
If he works for one day, costs you half a year's pay
(Baby) He can be here by 2:00
So if you've got cash, he'll be there in a flash
Makin' service calls in his overalls
(Baby) He'll do his best for you

Sewer's backing up (up, up)?
Got you feelin' down (down, down)?
Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba, baby
Don't forget my plumber
Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba, baby
Leaky pipes are a bummer
Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba, baby
Time to call the plumber
Maybe call a few

Got a problem with plumbing?
Gotta blame it on something
Blame it on the drain it was cloggin', cloggin

Blame it on the faucet that drips all night
If hairballs, grease and goo
Won't let the water through
Blame it on the drain, yeah, yeah

When I flush the john, now when I flush the john
It turns your shower on
(Roto-Rooter 6-5000)
Ba ba-ba ba, baby
Better call my plumber
He'll know what to do...


Weird Al Yankovic
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Alt 02.11.08, 21:49   #76 (permalink)
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Arrow The Saga Begins

The Saga Begins

A long, long time ago
In a galaxy far away
Naboo was under an attack
And I thought me and Qui Gon Jinn
Could talk the federation into
Maybe cutting them a little slack
But their response, it didn't thrill us
They locked the doors and tried to kill us
We escaped from that gas
Then met Jar Jar and Boss Nass
We took a bongo from the scene
And we went to Theed to see the Queen
We all wound up on Tatooine
That's where we found this boy

Oh my my this here Anakin guy
May be Vader someday later now he's just a small fry
And he left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye
Sayin' "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"
"Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"

Did you know this junkyard slave
Isn't even old enough to shave
But he can use the Force, they say
Ahh, do you see him hitting on the queen
Though he's just nine and she's fourteen
Yah, he's probably gonna marry her someday
Well, I know he built C-3PO
And I've heard how fast his pod can go
And we were broke, it's true
So we made a wager or two
He was a prepubescent flyin' ace
And the minute Jabba started off that race
Well, I knew who would win first place
Oh yes, it was our boy

We started singin'
My my this here Anakin guy
May be Vader someday later now he's just a small fry
And he left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye
Sayin' "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"
"Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"

Now we finally got to Coruscant
The Jedi Council we knew would want
To see how good the boy could be
So we took him there and we told the tale
How his midi chlorians were off the scale
And he might fulfill that prophecy
Oh, the Council was impressed, of course
Could he bring balance to the Force?
They interview the kid
Oh, training they forbid
Because Yoda sensed in him much fear
And Qui-Gon said "Now listen here"
"Just stick it in your pointy ear"
"I still will teach this boy"

He was singin'
My my this here Anakin guy
May be Vader someday later now he's just a small fry
And he left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye
Sayin' "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"
"Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"

We caught a ride back to Naboo
'Cause Queen Amidala wanted to
I frankly would've liked to stay
We all fought in that epic war
And it wasn't long at all before
Little Hotshot flew his plane and saved the day
And in the end some Gunguns died
Some ships blew up and some pilots fried
A lot of folks were croakinThe battle droids were broken
And the Jedi I admire most
Met up with Darth Maul and now he's toast
Well, I'm still here and he's a ghost
I guess I'll train this boy

And I was singin'
My my this here Anakin guy
May be Vader someday later now he's just a small fry
And he left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye
Sayin' "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"
"Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"

We were singin'
My my this here Anakin guy
May be Vader someday later now he's just a small fry
And he left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye
Sayin' "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"


Weird Al Yankovic
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Arrow The Weird Al Show Theme

The Weird Al Show Theme

Oh, this is a story 'bout a guy named Al
And he lived in a sewer with his hamster pal
But the sanitation workers really didn't approve
So he packed up his accordion and had to move
To a city in Ohio where he lived in a tree
And he worked in a nasal decongestant factory
And he played on the company bowling team
And every single night he had a strange recurring dream
Where he was wearing lederhose in a vat of sour cream
But that's really not important to the story

Well, the very next year he met a dental hygienist
With a spatula tattooed on her arm (on her arm)
But he didn't keep in touch
And he lost her number
Then he got himself a job on a tator tot farm
And he spent his life savings on a split level cave
Twenty miles below the surface of the Earth (of the Earth)
And he really makes a might fine jelly bean and pickle sandwich
For what it's worth

Then one day Al was in the forest trying to get a tan
When he heard the tortured screaming of a funny little man
He was caught in a bear trap and Al set him free
And the guy that he rescued was grateful as could be
And it turns out he's a big shot producer on TV
So he gives Al a contract and whaddya know
Now he's got his very own Weird Al show

(Much unintelligible talking and yelling)


Weird Al Yankovic

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Ettiği Teşekkür: 38
215 Mesajına 402 Kere Teşekkür Edlidi
:
Arrow The White Stuff

The White Stuff

The white stuff, The white stuff

The first one was a sweet one
Second one was a blast
Soon I finished off the bag, ate 'em up real fast
You can see 'em in my teeth
Tell it when I talk
Had so many my pancreas just went into shock

I love the white stuff, baby
In the middle of an Oreo
I love the white stuff, baby
It's the most delicious thing I know

I've had a zillion or two
In my life, they're so right
My teeth are all rotted clear through
But who cares?

What else am I supposed to do?

Oh oh oh oh oh Oreo
Oh oh oh oh oh , the white stuff
Oh oh oh oh oh Oreo
What's in the middle?

The white stuff

The first time that I tried it
Got a big sugar buzz
Nothing gets me high as that sandwhich cookie does
But I love the filling most
I rub it on my roast
Mix it in with my coffee and spread it on my toast

I love the white stuff, baby
In the middle of an Oreo
I love the white stuff, baby
Take some with me everywhere I go

Might get a pimple or two
Well, so what? It's all right
Now Twinkies and Ding Dongs won't do
All I need You know what it is

Oh oh oh oh oh, Oh Oreo
Oh oh oh oh oh, the white stuff
Oh oh oh oh oh, Oh Oreo
Oh oh oh oh oh, the white stuff
Oh oh oh oh oh, Oh Oreo
What's in the middle? The white stuff...


Weird Al Yankovic
Prenses isimli Üye şimdilik offline konumundadır   Alıntı ile Cevapla
Alt 02.11.08, 22:10   #79 (permalink)
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Alfa Üye
 
Prenses - ait Kullanıcı Resmi (Avatar)
Kullanıcı Bilgileri
Üyelik tarihi: Apr 2008
Nerden: İstanbul
Mesajlar: 11.417
Konular: 1154
Puan Grafiği
Rep Puanı:5374
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RD:Prenses has a reputation beyond reputePrenses has a reputation beyond reputePrenses has a reputation beyond reputePrenses has a reputation beyond reputePrenses has a reputation beyond reputePrenses has a reputation beyond reputePrenses has a reputation beyond reputePrenses has a reputation beyond reputePrenses has a reputation beyond reputePrenses has a reputation beyond reputePrenses has a reputation beyond repute
Teşekkür

Ettiği Teşekkür: 38
215 Mesajına 402 Kere Teşekkür Edlidi
:
Arrow This Is The Life

This Is The Life

I eat filet mignon seven times a day
My bathtub's filled with Perrier
What can I say
This is the life

I buy a dozen cars when I'm in the mood
I hire somebody to chew my food
I'm an upwardly mobile dude
This is the life

They say that money corrupts you
But I can't really tell
I got the whole world at my feet
And I think it's pretty swell

I got women lined up outside my door
They've been waitin' there since the week before
Who could ask for more
This is the life

You're dead for a real long time
You just can't prevent it
So if money can't buy happiness
I guess I'll have to rent it

Yeah, every day I make the front page news
No time to pay my dues
I got a million pairs of shoes
This is the life

I got a solid gold Cadillac
I make a fortune while I sleep
You can tell I'm a living legend
Not some ordinary creep

No way, I'm the boss, the big cheese
Yeah, I got this town on its knobby little knees
And I can do just what I please
This is the life

That's right, I'm the king, number one
I buy monographed Kleenex by the ton
I pay the bills, I call the shots
I grease the palms, I buy the yachts

One thing I can guarantee
The best things in life, they sure ain't free
It's such a thrill just to be me
This is the life
Waah, this is the life...


Weird Al Yankovic
Prenses isimli Üye şimdilik offline konumundadır   Alıntı ile Cevapla
Alt 02.11.08, 22:12   #80 (permalink)
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Alfa Üye
 
Prenses - ait Kullanıcı Resmi (Avatar)
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RD:Prenses has a reputation beyond reputePrenses has a reputation beyond reputePrenses has a reputation beyond reputePrenses has a reputation beyond reputePrenses has a reputation beyond reputePrenses has a reputation beyond reputePrenses has a reputation beyond reputePrenses has a reputation beyond reputePrenses has a reputation beyond reputePrenses has a reputation beyond reputePrenses has a reputation beyond repute
Teşekkür

Ettiği Teşekkür: 38
215 Mesajına 402 Kere Teşekkür Edlidi
:
Arrow Traffic Jam

Traffic Jam

Carbon monoxide
Making me choke
No A.C.
And the radio's broke
Cars backed up
Far as you can see
Seems like I've been waiting here for all eternity
Oh, and just in case you're wondering
I'll tell you where I am
I'm right here (right here) right here (right here)
Stuck right here in the middle of this

Traffic jam
I haven't moved one inch from this here spot
Traffic jam
The freeway's one big parking lot
Traffic jam
My radiator's boiling hot
And I'm stuck right here in the middle

(right here in the middle)
Right here in the middle of a traffic jam

Trapped inside
My automobile
Cobweb's gowinOn the steerin' wheel
Now, I'm no genius
But one thing I know
I shouldn't have had that bag of bran muffins
An hour and a half ago
Yeah, and if you need to find me
I'll tell you where I am
I'm right here (right here) right here (right here)
Stuck smack dab in the middle of this

Traffic jam
I haven't moved one inch from this here spot
Traffic jam
The freeway's one big parking lot
Traffic jam
Well, I thought we were movin' but I guess we're not
'Cause I'm stuck right here in the middle

(right here in the middle)
Right here in the middle of a traffic jam

Stuck in the middle of a traffic jam
yeah yeah yeah yeah
Bumper to bumper to bumper to bumper to
Bumper to bumper to bumper to bumper to
Bumper to bumper to bumper to bumper
Yay hey!

There's a yuppie on a cellular phone
I'm gonna puke if I here any more
There's a motorcycle zoomin' by me
Watch what happens when I open my door
Now we're all goin' nowhere fast
Well, I guess that's perfectly clear
I left home five hours ago
And I can still see my house from here
So if anybody's tryin' to find me
Well, I'll tell you where I am
Right here (right here) right here (right here)
Stuck right here in the middle of this

Traffic jam
I haven't moved one inch from this here spot
Traffic jam
The freeway's one big parking lot
Traffic jam
Now my back teeth are floatin' and my nerves are shot
And I'm stuck right here in the middle

(right here in the middle)
Stuck right here in the middle of a traffic jam
Traffic Jam traffic jam traffic jam woo...


Weird Al Yankovic
Prenses isimli Üye şimdilik offline konumundadır   Alıntı ile Cevapla
Cevapla

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al, lyrics, sarki, sozleri, weird, weird al yankovic, weird al yankovic lyrics, weird al yankovic şarkı, weird al yankovic şarkı sözleri, weird al yankovic şarkı sözleri ( lyrics ), yankovic

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