Weird Al Yankovic Şarkı Sözleri ( Lyrics ) - Sayfa 2

**Prenses** · 02.11.08, 18:37

Callin' In Sick

Hit my snooze alarm for the twenty seventh time
Just don't feel like goin' to work
I think I'll call my boss, then I'm
Gonna hack and cough and wheeze
Swear I got some strange disease
What's that little twerp gonna say
Hey

I'm callin' in sick today
Callin' in sick today

I could shine my pennies or clean my lava lamp
I could spend all day in my underwear wathing "Ernest Goes To Camp"
I could sit and count my hair
I could burp my Tupperware
I'm not busy anyway
Hey

I'm callin' in sick today
Callin' in sick today
Ain't goin' to work, no way
Callin' in sick today

I can do anything I want to
I am invincible now
I'm on fire, baby
I'm alive, I'm alive, can you hear me, world?
I'm alive

Maybe I'll spend all day staring at the sun
And trying not to squint
Maybe I'll make a huge color tapestry from
My belly button lint
When I'm sick of takin' abuse
I just make up some lame excuse
Freedom's just seven digits away
Hey

I'm callin' in sick today
Callin' in sick today
Ain't gonna work, no way
Callin' in sick today...

Weird Al Yankovic

**Prenses** · 02.11.08, 18:38

Canadian Idiot

Don't wanna be a Canadian idiot
Don't wanna be some beer swillin' hockey nut
And do I look like some frostbitten hose head?
I never learned my alphabet from A to Zed

They all live on donuts and moose meat
And they leave the house without packin' heat
Never even bring their guns to the mall
And you know what else is too funny?
Their stupid Monopoly money
Can't take 'em seriously at all

Well maple syrup and snow's what they export
They treat curling just like it's a real sport
They think their silly accent is so cute
Can't understand a thing they're talkin' aboot

Sure they got their national health care
Cheaper meds, low crime rates and clean air
Then again well they got Celine Dion
Eat their weight in Kraft macaroni
And dream of drivin' a Zamboni
All over Saskatchewan

Don't wanna be a Canadian idiot
Won't figure out their temperature in Celsius
See the map, they're hoverin' right over us
Tell you the truth, it makes me kinda nervous

Always hear the same kind of story
Break their nose and they'll just say "sorry"
Tell me what kind of freaks are that polite?
It's gotta mean they're all up to somethin'
So quick, before they see it comin'
Time for a pre emptive strike...

Weird Al Yankovic

**Prenses** · 02.11.08, 18:39

Cavity Search

Listen to the Muzak
Hearin' people scream
Sittin' in the waiting room
Readin' crappy magazines
With a toothache
This is it, pal
Root Canal

My molars are impacted
I'm gettin' gum disease
I'm gonna need some fillings
Got twelve cavities
Can you help me
Have mercy
Doctor, please

My teeth are a fright
Got a huge overbite
Numb me, drill me
Floss me, bill me

You jab at my nerve endings
It's driving me insane
Just give me nitrous oxide
Shoot me up with novocaine
Help me out here
'Cause I'm so severe
Pain

Please stop for a bit
Let me rinse and spit
Numb me, drill me
Floss me, bill me

You validate my parking
I think that I'm okay
But you make one more appointment for
A week from Saturday
'Cause you came upon
A problem on
My x-ray
Oy vey

I'm getting absurd
Well, I hope I'm insured, now
Numb me, drill me
Floss me, bill me...

Weird Al Yankovic

**Prenses** · 02.11.08, 18:41

Close But No Cigar

Jillian was her name
She was sweeter than aspartame
Her kisses reconfigured my DNA
And after that I never was the same

And I loved her even more
Than Marlon Brando loved souffle
She was gorgeous, she was charming
Yeah, she was perfect in every way

Except she was always using the word "infer"
When she obviously meant "imply"
And I know some guys would put up with that kind of thing
But frankly, I can't imagine why

And I told her, I said
"Hey! Are we playing horseshoes, honey?
No, I don't think we are!
You're close! (Close)
But no cigar"

Then I met sweet young Janet
Prettiest thing on the planet
Had a body hotter than a habanjero
She had lips like a ripe pomegranate

And I was crazy like Manson about her
She got me all choked up like Momma Cass
She had a smile so incredibly radiant
You had to watch it through a piece of smoked glass

I thought after all these years of searching around
I'd found my soulmate finally
But one day I found Out she actually owned a copy
Of Joe Dirt on DVD

Oh, no! I said
"Hey! Are we lobbing hand grenades, kiddo?
No I don't think we are
You're close! (Close)
Oh, so very close! (Close)
Yeah, baby, you're close! (Close)
So close
But no cigar"

(Oh, yeah)
(Oh, no)
(Oh, yeah)
(Oh, no)
(Oh, yeah)
(Oh, no)
(All Rıght)

(Hand claps, trumpet solo)

Julie played water polo
She wore a ribbon on her left manolo
She had me sweating like Nixon every time she was near
My heart was beating like a Buddy Rif solo

And she was everything I've dreamed of
She moved right up to 1 on my list
And did I mention she's a world famous billionare
Bikini supermodel astrophysicist

Yeah, she was so pretty she made Charlize Theron
Look like a big fat slobbering pig
The only caveat is one of her earlobes
Was just a little tiny bit too big

I said
"Hey! Are we doing government work here?
No I don't think we are
You're close (Close)
So very, very close! (Close)
Aaw, baby, you're close! (Close)
So close
But no cigar"

Missed it by that much! (No cigar)
Ah, yeah! Ah, right! (No cigar)
Really, really, really close! (No cigar)
But no cigar...

Weird Al Yankovic

**Prenses** · 02.11.08, 18:42

Confessions Part III

Watch this

These are my confessions
Just when I thought I said all I could say I came up up with more secrets to tell you today
These are my confessions
Slip my mind the last two times
Silly me, so now I gotta give you part three of my confessions
First I told you about the skank that I was cheating with,then I mentioned she's having my kid
That's not all, now I recall more you see, so I'll give you part three of my confessions

Now this is gonna be the hardest thing I ever had to do,
Gonna tell you everything I left out of parts one and two
Like remember when I told you I knew Paulie Shore (Paulie Shore)
That's a lie, I don't know what I said that for
I borrowed your chapstick (from you)
I tried out your nose hair trimmer (too)
And by the way your diamond ring is cubic circonium,
I killed your goldfish accidently, just replaced it with another one

These are my confessions
Just when I thought I said all I could say I needed to get some things off my chest right away
These are my confessions
Slipped my mind the last two times, silly me, I guess I gotta give you part three of my confessions
I threw up on your dog last time I had too much to drink
There have been times when I've peed in your sink
Don't know why, but you and I should agree that belongs in part three of my confessions

Baby forgive me I'm still trying to figure out why I used your toothbrush to clean off the bathroom grought
Oh and sometimes in private, I really like to dress up as Shirley Temple and spank myself with a hockey stick (hockey stick)
My boss thinks I'm a jerk, I didn't get that raise.
I haven't changed my underwear in twenty-seven days!
And when I'm kissing you I fantasize you as a midget
I'm so sorry Debbi! I mean Bridget!

These are my confessions
Just when I thought I said all I could say I got a few more secrets I'd like to convey
These are my confessions
Slipped my mind the last two times, silly me, I guess I gotta give you part three of my confessions
Gave you buttered toast I dropped and then picked up off the floor
FYI it was not a cold sore
Ooops my bad, but you'll be madder at me when I finish part three of my confessions

You don't know how hard it is for me to tell you this, but remember that shirt that you got me for my birthday?
Well, I returned it for store credit. That thing was hideous, what were you thinking?
O and by the way, I wasn't really sick last week,
I just didn't wanna go to your stupid office picnic
Oh and when I told you at breakfast we were all out of rice krispies,
What I meant was that there was only enough left for me. Sorry.

These are my confessions
Just when I thought I said all I could say, I thought of some more things that should scare you away
These are my confessions
Slipped my mind the last two times, silly me, I guess I gotta give you part three of my confessions
Once I blew my nose and wiped it on your cat
And I lied, yes that dress makes you look fat
Anyway, I shouldn't say anymore 'til I give you part four of my confessions...

Weird Al Yankovic

**Prenses** · 02.11.08, 18:44

Couch Potato

Look
If you had
One shot
To sit on your lazy butt
And watch all the TV you ever wanted
Until your brain turned to mush
Would you go for it?
Or just let it slip?
Yo

Remote is ready
Eyes wide, palms are sweaty
There's Flintstones on the TV already
Wilma 'n' Betty
No virgin to channel surfinAnd I'm HD-ready
So I flip
Garbage is all I'm getting

There's Simon Cowell
Who folks wanna disembowel
He opens his mouth
Always says something foul
They're dyin', wow
Wannabes are crying now
He votes them out
Time to throw in the towel

Shows based on reality
Oh, the humanity!
Oh, Ozzy's family
Sho' loves profanity
Whoa, the insanity
Oh, dogs that crap and pee
Home of depravity?
No, they live happily
Yo

Plus "Da Ali G Show"
And "Celebrity Mole"
Oh, and there's Anna Nicole
Well, she's scaring me

"Look ma, no cavities"
Oh, it's a station break
Better go out to the kitchen and microwave something

"You're gonna lose your mind watchin' TV" They told me, they'd scold me
But I'd still tune in every show (show)
My cable gets C-Span, TV-Land, and HBO
The Travel Channel, Discovery, and Lifetime (yo)

"You're gonna lose your mind watchin' TV"
They told me, cajoled me, "Turn off those music videos" (no)
I'm gonna watch C-Span, TV-Land, and HBO
The History Channel and QVC and Lifetime (yo)
(You're gonna)

My butt is aching
As I watch Nascar racing
That show about undertaking
Larry King
To "24" to "Law And Order"
The Weather Channel's boring like "60 Minutes"'s ancient reporters
Next up on "E! True Hollywood Story"
The rise and decline of twelve actors named Corey

Shows for next fall, they've already been namin"CSI: Boise" and "Touched By An Uncle" both sound pretty lame 'nSo does "Everybody Tolerates Raymond"
And "King of Queens" jumped the shark the first minute
I can't believe Richard Simmons ain't in it

I'll move right on to "8 Simple Rules For Dating My Teenaged Daughter"
Then I bet
I watch "The Bachelorette"
Followed by "Welcome Back, Kotter"
And "The Muppet Show" where they go 'Mahna Mahna
"You're gonna lose your mind watching TV"
They told me, they'd scold me
But I'd still tune in every show (show)
My cable gets C-Span, TV-Land, and HBO
The Disney Channel and A and E and Lifetime (yo)

"You're gonna lose your mind watching TV"
They told me, cajoled me
But I still love Lisa Kudrow (drow)
I'm looking at C-Span, TV-Land, and HBO
The Playboy Channel and Court TV and Lifetime (yo)
(You're Gonna)

Never missed "Melrose Place" or "Lost In Space"
I've seen each "Amazing Race" and "Without A Trace"
But I only watched "Will And Grace" one time one day
Wish I hadn't 'cause TiVo now thinks I'm gay

Oh, and "Fear Factor" I watched maybe a half hour
After that, felt like I needed a long shower
Network execs with naked ambitions
"Next week on Fox, watch lions eat Christians"

Like to tie up those programming planners
Make 'em watch all of that junk 'til their heads explode just like "Scanners"
Leech covered grub eatin' fools on "Survivor"
Look there's James Lipton discussing the oeuvre of Mr. Rob Schneider

And there's "Gilligan" and "SpongeBob", plus there's "MacGyver"
And Jay Leno has got Madonna, hey there's Luke Perry on a
Special all Pig Latin episode of "Drew Carey"

Wanna turn on "E.T." 'cause I'm a gossip freak
And I gotta know who J. Lo is marryin' this week
A 30 second spot
Then we come back to "Are You Hot?"
I was planning on recording "The Sopranos"
I forgot

I love shows with or without a plot
I'll stare 'til my legs are numb, my eyes bloodshot
Because I only have got
One brain to rot
I'm gonna spend my life watching television a lot

"You're gonna lose your mind watching TV"
They told me, they'd scold me
But I'd still tune in every show (show)
My cable gets C-Span, TV-Land, and HBO
The Sci-Fi Channel and AMC and Lifetime (yo)

"You're gonna lose your mind watching TV"
They told me, cajoled me, "Turn off that Oprah Winfrey show" (no)
I got it on C-Span, TV-Land, and HBO
The Learning Channel and MTV and Lifetime (yo)
(You're gonna)

You can watch anything you want to, man...

Weird Al Yankovic

**Prenses** · 02.11.08, 18:51

Dare To Be Stupid

Put down your chainsaw and listen to me
It's time for us to join in the fight
It's time to let your babies grow up to be cowboys
It's time to let the bedbugs bite

You better put all your eggs in one basket
You better count your chickens before they hatch
You better sell some wine before it's & its time
You better find yourself an itch to scratch

You better squeeze all the Charmin you can while Mr. Wimpole's not around
Stick your head in the microwave and get yourself a tan

Talk with your mouth full
Bite the hand that feeds you
Bite on more than you chew
What can you do
Dare to be stupid

Take some wooden nickles
Look for Mr. Goodbar
Get your mojo working now
I'll show you how
You can dare to be stupid

You can turn the other cheek
You can just give up the ship
You can eat a bunch of sushi and forget to leave a tip

Dare to be stupid
Come on and dare to be stupid
It's so easy to do
Dare to be stupid
We're all waiting for you
Let's go

It's time to make a mountain out of a molehill
So can I have a volunteer
There's no more time for crying over spilled milk
Now it's time for crying in your beer

Settle down, raise a family, join the PTA
Buy some sensible shoes and a Chevyrolet
And party 'till you're broke and they drive you away
It's OK, you can dare to be stupid

It's like spitting on a fish
It's like barking up a tree
It's like I said you gotta buy one if you wanna get one free

Dare to be stupid (yes)
Why don't you dare to be stupid
It's so easy to do
Dare to be stupid
We're all waiting for you
Dare to be stupid

Burn your candle at both ends
Look a gift horse in the mouth
Mashed potatoes can be your friends

You can be a coffee achiever
You can sit around the house and watch Leave It To Beaver
The future's up to you
So what you gonna do

Dare to be stupid
Dare to be stupid
What did I say
Dare to be stupid
Tell me, what did I say
Dare to be stupid
It's alright
Dare to be stupid
We can be stupid all night
Dare to be stupid
Come on, join the crowd
Dare to be stupid
Shout it out loud
Dare to be stupid
I can't hear you
Dare to be stupid
OK, I can hear you now
Dare to be stupid
Let's go, Dare to be stupid
Dare to be stupid
Dare to be stupid
Dare to be stupid
Dare to be stupid...

Weird Al Yankovic

**Prenses** · 02.11.08, 18:52

Do I Creep You Out

I know that you
Don't know me very well
We've barely met
But I can surely tell
No one will ever
Love you like I do

I like to feel
The warm spot on your chair
Sometimes I drool
And usually I stare
My precious one
I saved that gum
That you threw in the garbage

You're the one I dream about
But the only question with me now
Is "Do I creep you out?"
Everytime I shake your hand now
Wanna stick your fingers in my mouth
Do I creep you out?

Call you every night and hang up
Gonna carve your name in my leg
In my leg, oh oh!

Somethin' I should ask about
Can I sniff the pit stains on your blouse?
And do I creep you,
Do I creep you out?
(Your restraining order's out)
(Still the only question with me now)
Oh the only question
(Is "Do I creep you out?")
Is "Do I creep you out?"
Know exactly where you live now
Follow you from work right to your house
Well, do I creep you out?
Do I creep you out?

Weird Al Yankovic

**Prenses** · 02.11.08, 18:55

Don't Download This Song

Once in a while
Maybe you will feel the urge.
To break into national copyright law
By downloading mp3s
From file sharing sites
Like Morpheus, or Grokster, or LimeWire, or Kazaa.
But deep in your Heart.
You know the guilt would drive you mad
And the shame would leave a permanent scar
Cause you start out stealing songs
Then you're robbing liquor stores
And selling Crack
And running over school kids with your car

So Don't Download This Song
The record store is where you belong
Go and buy the CD like you know that you should
Oh Don't Download This Song

Oh you don't want to mess
With the R I Double A
They'll sue you if you burn that CD R.
It doesn't matter if you're a grandma
Or a seven year old girl
They'll treat you like the evil Hard bitten criminal scum you are

So Don't Download This Song (don't go)
Pirating music all day long
Go and buy the CD like you know that you should
Oh Don't Download This Song

Don't take away money
From artists just like me
How else can I afford another solid gold Hum V
And diamond studded swimming pools
These things don't grow on trees
So all I ask is everybody Pleasee

Don't Download This Song (Don't do it No No)
Even Lars Urlich Know it's wrong (You could just ask him)
Go and buy the CD like you know that you should (You Really Should)
Oh Don't Download This Song

Don't Download This Song (Oh please don't you do it or you)
Might Wind up in Jail like Tommy Chong (Remember Tommy)
Go and buy the CD (Right Now) like you know that you should (Go out and Buy it)
Oh Don't Download This Song.

Don't Download This Song (No no no no)
Or you'll burn in hell before to long (And you deserve it)
Go and buy the CD (Just buy it) like you know that you should (You cheap bastard)

Weird Al Yankovic

**Prenses** · 02.11.08, 18:57

Ebay

Yeah
A used pink bathrobe
A rare mint snowglobe
A Smurf TV tray
I bought on eBay

My house is filled with this crap
Shows up in bubble wrap
Most every day
What I bought on eBay

Tell me why (I need another pet rock)
Tell me why (I got that Alf alarm clock)
Tell me why (I bid on Shatner's old toupee)
They had it on eBay

I'll buy your knick knack
Just check my feedback
"A++" they all say
They love me on eBay

Gonna buy (a slightly damaged golf bag)
Gonna buy (some Beanie Babies, new with tag)
(From some guy) I've never met in Norway
Found him on eBay

I am the type who is liable to snipe you
With two seconds left to go, whoa
Got Paypal or Visa, what ever'll please ya
As long as I've got the dough

I'll buy your tchotchkes
Sell me your watch, please
I'll buy (I'll buy, I'll buy, I'll buy)
I'm highest bidder now

(Junk keeps arriving in the mail)
(From that worldwide garage sale)
(Dukes Of Hazard ashtray)
(Hey! A Dukes Of Hazard ashtray)
Oh yeah (I bought it on eBay)

Wanna buy (a PacMan Fever lunchbox)
Wanna buy (a case of vintage tube socks)
Wanna buy (a Kleenex used by Dr. Dre, Dr. Dre)
(Found it on eBay)

Wanna buy (that Farrah Fawcet poster)
(Pez dispensers and a toaster)
(Don't know why the kind of stuff you'd throw away)
(I'll buy on eBay)

What I bought on eBay...

Weird Al Yankovic

Konu Bilgileri
	Konu Başlığı Weird Al Yankovic Şarkı Sözleri ( Lyrics )	Konudaki Cevap Sayısı 97
	Şuan Bu Konuyu Görüntüleyenler	Görüntülenme Sayısı 6568

02.11.08, 18:37	#11 (permalink)
Kullanıcı Profili Prenses Alfa Üye Kullanıcı Bilgileri Üyelik tarihi: Apr 2008 Nerden: İstanbul Mesajlar: 11.417 Konular: 1154 Puan Grafiği Rep Puanı:5374 Rep Gücü:0 RD: Teşekkür Ettiği Teşekkür: 38 215 Mesajına 402 Kere Teşekkür Edlidi :	Callin' In Sick Callin' In Sick Hit my snooze alarm for the twenty seventh time Just don't feel like goin' to work I think I'll call my boss, then I'm Gonna hack and cough and wheeze Swear I got some strange disease What's that little twerp gonna say Hey I'm callin' in sick today Callin' in sick today I could shine my pennies or clean my lava lamp I could spend all day in my underwear wathing "Ernest Goes To Camp" I could sit and count my hair I could burp my Tupperware I'm not busy anyway Hey I'm callin' in sick today Callin' in sick today Ain't goin' to work, no way Callin' in sick today I can do anything I want to I am invincible now I'm on fire, baby I'm alive, I'm alive, can you hear me, world? I'm alive Maybe I'll spend all day staring at the sun And trying not to squint Maybe I'll make a huge color tapestry from My belly button lint When I'm sick of takin' abuse I just make up some lame excuse Freedom's just seven digits away Hey I'm callin' in sick today Callin' in sick today Ain't gonna work, no way Callin' in sick today... Weird Al Yankovic

02.11.08, 18:38	#12 (permalink)
Kullanıcı Profili Prenses Alfa Üye Kullanıcı Bilgileri Üyelik tarihi: Apr 2008 Nerden: İstanbul Mesajlar: 11.417 Konular: 1154 Puan Grafiği Rep Puanı:5374 Rep Gücü:0 RD: Teşekkür Ettiği Teşekkür: 38 215 Mesajına 402 Kere Teşekkür Edlidi :	Canadian Idiot Canadian Idiot Don't wanna be a Canadian idiot Don't wanna be some beer swillin' hockey nut And do I look like some frostbitten hose head? I never learned my alphabet from A to Zed They all live on donuts and moose meat And they leave the house without packin' heat Never even bring their guns to the mall And you know what else is too funny? Their stupid Monopoly money Can't take 'em seriously at all Well maple syrup and snow's what they export They treat curling just like it's a real sport They think their silly accent is so cute Can't understand a thing they're talkin' aboot Sure they got their national health care Cheaper meds, low crime rates and clean air Then again well they got Celine Dion Eat their weight in Kraft macaroni And dream of drivin' a Zamboni All over Saskatchewan Don't wanna be a Canadian idiot Won't figure out their temperature in Celsius See the map, they're hoverin' right over us Tell you the truth, it makes me kinda nervous Always hear the same kind of story Break their nose and they'll just say "sorry" Tell me what kind of freaks are that polite? It's gotta mean they're all up to somethin' So quick, before they see it comin' Time for a pre emptive strike... Weird Al Yankovic

02.11.08, 18:39	#13 (permalink)
Kullanıcı Profili Prenses Alfa Üye Kullanıcı Bilgileri Üyelik tarihi: Apr 2008 Nerden: İstanbul Mesajlar: 11.417 Konular: 1154 Puan Grafiği Rep Puanı:5374 Rep Gücü:0 RD: Teşekkür Ettiği Teşekkür: 38 215 Mesajına 402 Kere Teşekkür Edlidi :	Cavity Search Cavity Search Listen to the Muzak Hearin' people scream Sittin' in the waiting room Readin' crappy magazines With a toothache This is it, pal Root Canal My molars are impacted I'm gettin' gum disease I'm gonna need some fillings Got twelve cavities Can you help me Have mercy Doctor, please My teeth are a fright Got a huge overbite Numb me, drill me Floss me, bill me You jab at my nerve endings It's driving me insane Just give me nitrous oxide Shoot me up with novocaine Help me out here 'Cause I'm so severe Pain Please stop for a bit Let me rinse and spit Numb me, drill me Floss me, bill me You validate my parking I think that I'm okay But you make one more appointment for A week from Saturday 'Cause you came upon A problem on My x-ray Oy vey I'm getting absurd Well, I hope I'm insured, now Numb me, drill me Floss me, bill me... Weird Al Yankovic

02.11.08, 18:41	#14 (permalink)
Kullanıcı Profili Prenses Alfa Üye Kullanıcı Bilgileri Üyelik tarihi: Apr 2008 Nerden: İstanbul Mesajlar: 11.417 Konular: 1154 Puan Grafiği Rep Puanı:5374 Rep Gücü:0 RD: Teşekkür Ettiği Teşekkür: 38 215 Mesajına 402 Kere Teşekkür Edlidi :	Close But No Cigar Close But No Cigar Jillian was her name She was sweeter than aspartame Her kisses reconfigured my DNA And after that I never was the same And I loved her even more Than Marlon Brando loved souffle She was gorgeous, she was charming Yeah, she was perfect in every way Except she was always using the word "infer" When she obviously meant "imply" And I know some guys would put up with that kind of thing But frankly, I can't imagine why And I told her, I said "Hey! Are we playing horseshoes, honey? No, I don't think we are! You're close! (Close) But no cigar" Then I met sweet young Janet Prettiest thing on the planet Had a body hotter than a habanjero She had lips like a ripe pomegranate And I was crazy like Manson about her She got me all choked up like Momma Cass She had a smile so incredibly radiant You had to watch it through a piece of smoked glass I thought after all these years of searching around I'd found my soulmate finally But one day I found Out she actually owned a copy Of Joe Dirt on DVD Oh, no! I said "Hey! Are we lobbing hand grenades, kiddo? No I don't think we are You're close! (Close) Oh, so very close! (Close) Yeah, baby, you're close! (Close) So close But no cigar" (Oh, yeah) (Oh, no) (Oh, yeah) (Oh, no) (Oh, yeah) (Oh, no) (All Rıght) (Hand claps, trumpet solo) Julie played water polo She wore a ribbon on her left manolo She had me sweating like Nixon every time she was near My heart was beating like a Buddy Rif solo And she was everything I've dreamed of She moved right up to 1 on my list And did I mention she's a world famous billionare Bikini supermodel astrophysicist Yeah, she was so pretty she made Charlize Theron Look like a big fat slobbering pig The only caveat is one of her earlobes Was just a little tiny bit too big I said "Hey! Are we doing government work here? No I don't think we are You're close (Close) So very, very close! (Close) Aaw, baby, you're close! (Close) So close But no cigar" Missed it by that much! (No cigar) Ah, yeah! Ah, right! (No cigar) Really, really, really close! (No cigar) But no cigar... Weird Al Yankovic

02.11.08, 18:42	#15 (permalink)
Kullanıcı Profili Prenses Alfa Üye Kullanıcı Bilgileri Üyelik tarihi: Apr 2008 Nerden: İstanbul Mesajlar: 11.417 Konular: 1154 Puan Grafiği Rep Puanı:5374 Rep Gücü:0 RD: Teşekkür Ettiği Teşekkür: 38 215 Mesajına 402 Kere Teşekkür Edlidi :	Confessions Part III Confessions Part III Watch this These are my confessions Just when I thought I said all I could say I came up up with more secrets to tell you today These are my confessions Slip my mind the last two times Silly me, so now I gotta give you part three of my confessions First I told you about the skank that I was cheating with,then I mentioned she's having my kid That's not all, now I recall more you see, so I'll give you part three of my confessions Now this is gonna be the hardest thing I ever had to do, Gonna tell you everything I left out of parts one and two Like remember when I told you I knew Paulie Shore (Paulie Shore) That's a lie, I don't know what I said that for I borrowed your chapstick (from you) I tried out your nose hair trimmer (too) And by the way your diamond ring is cubic circonium, I killed your goldfish accidently, just replaced it with another one These are my confessions Just when I thought I said all I could say I needed to get some things off my chest right away These are my confessions Slipped my mind the last two times, silly me, I guess I gotta give you part three of my confessions I threw up on your dog last time I had too much to drink There have been times when I've peed in your sink Don't know why, but you and I should agree that belongs in part three of my confessions Baby forgive me I'm still trying to figure out why I used your toothbrush to clean off the bathroom grought Oh and sometimes in private, I really like to dress up as Shirley Temple and spank myself with a hockey stick (hockey stick) My boss thinks I'm a jerk, I didn't get that raise. I haven't changed my underwear in twenty-seven days! And when I'm kissing you I fantasize you as a midget I'm so sorry Debbi! I mean Bridget! These are my confessions Just when I thought I said all I could say I got a few more secrets I'd like to convey These are my confessions Slipped my mind the last two times, silly me, I guess I gotta give you part three of my confessions Gave you buttered toast I dropped and then picked up off the floor FYI it was not a cold sore Ooops my bad, but you'll be madder at me when I finish part three of my confessions You don't know how hard it is for me to tell you this, but remember that shirt that you got me for my birthday? Well, I returned it for store credit. That thing was hideous, what were you thinking? O and by the way, I wasn't really sick last week, I just didn't wanna go to your stupid office picnic Oh and when I told you at breakfast we were all out of rice krispies, What I meant was that there was only enough left for me. Sorry. These are my confessions Just when I thought I said all I could say, I thought of some more things that should scare you away These are my confessions Slipped my mind the last two times, silly me, I guess I gotta give you part three of my confessions Once I blew my nose and wiped it on your cat And I lied, yes that dress makes you look fat Anyway, I shouldn't say anymore 'til I give you part four of my confessions... Weird Al Yankovic

02.11.08, 18:44	#16 (permalink)
Kullanıcı Profili Prenses Alfa Üye Kullanıcı Bilgileri Üyelik tarihi: Apr 2008 Nerden: İstanbul Mesajlar: 11.417 Konular: 1154 Puan Grafiği Rep Puanı:5374 Rep Gücü:0 RD: Teşekkür Ettiği Teşekkür: 38 215 Mesajına 402 Kere Teşekkür Edlidi :	Couch Potato Couch Potato Look If you had One shot To sit on your lazy butt And watch all the TV you ever wanted Until your brain turned to mush Would you go for it? Or just let it slip? Yo Remote is ready Eyes wide, palms are sweaty There's Flintstones on the TV already Wilma 'n' Betty No virgin to channel surfinAnd I'm HD-ready So I flip Garbage is all I'm getting There's Simon Cowell Who folks wanna disembowel He opens his mouth Always says something foul They're dyin', wow Wannabes are crying now He votes them out Time to throw in the towel Shows based on reality Oh, the humanity! Oh, Ozzy's family Sho' loves profanity Whoa, the insanity Oh, dogs that crap and pee Home of depravity? No, they live happily Yo Plus "Da Ali G Show" And "Celebrity Mole" Oh, and there's Anna Nicole Well, she's scaring me "Look ma, no cavities" Oh, it's a station break Better go out to the kitchen and microwave something "You're gonna lose your mind watchin' TV" They told me, they'd scold me But I'd still tune in every show (show) My cable gets C-Span, TV-Land, and HBO The Travel Channel, Discovery, and Lifetime (yo) "You're gonna lose your mind watchin' TV" They told me, cajoled me, "Turn off those music videos" (no) I'm gonna watch C-Span, TV-Land, and HBO The History Channel and QVC and Lifetime (yo) (You're gonna) My butt is aching As I watch Nascar racing That show about undertaking Larry King To "24" to "Law And Order" The Weather Channel's boring like "60 Minutes"'s ancient reporters Next up on "E! True Hollywood Story" The rise and decline of twelve actors named Corey Shows for next fall, they've already been namin"CSI: Boise" and "Touched By An Uncle" both sound pretty lame 'nSo does "Everybody Tolerates Raymond" And "King of Queens" jumped the shark the first minute I can't believe Richard Simmons ain't in it I'll move right on to "8 Simple Rules For Dating My Teenaged Daughter" Then I bet I watch "The Bachelorette" Followed by "Welcome Back, Kotter" And "The Muppet Show" where they go 'Mahna Mahna "You're gonna lose your mind watching TV" They told me, they'd scold me But I'd still tune in every show (show) My cable gets C-Span, TV-Land, and HBO The Disney Channel and A and E and Lifetime (yo) "You're gonna lose your mind watching TV" They told me, cajoled me But I still love Lisa Kudrow (drow) I'm looking at C-Span, TV-Land, and HBO The Playboy Channel and Court TV and Lifetime (yo) (You're Gonna) Never missed "Melrose Place" or "Lost In Space" I've seen each "Amazing Race" and "Without A Trace" But I only watched "Will And Grace" one time one day Wish I hadn't 'cause TiVo now thinks I'm gay Oh, and "Fear Factor" I watched maybe a half hour After that, felt like I needed a long shower Network execs with naked ambitions "Next week on Fox, watch lions eat Christians" Like to tie up those programming planners Make 'em watch all of that junk 'til their heads explode just like "Scanners" Leech covered grub eatin' fools on "Survivor" Look there's James Lipton discussing the oeuvre of Mr. Rob Schneider And there's "Gilligan" and "SpongeBob", plus there's "MacGyver" And Jay Leno has got Madonna, hey there's Luke Perry on a Special all Pig Latin episode of "Drew Carey" Wanna turn on "E.T." 'cause I'm a gossip freak And I gotta know who J. Lo is marryin' this week A 30 second spot Then we come back to "Are You Hot?" I was planning on recording "The Sopranos" I forgot I love shows with or without a plot I'll stare 'til my legs are numb, my eyes bloodshot Because I only have got One brain to rot I'm gonna spend my life watching television a lot "You're gonna lose your mind watching TV" They told me, they'd scold me But I'd still tune in every show (show) My cable gets C-Span, TV-Land, and HBO The Sci-Fi Channel and AMC and Lifetime (yo) "You're gonna lose your mind watching TV" They told me, cajoled me, "Turn off that Oprah Winfrey show" (no) I got it on C-Span, TV-Land, and HBO The Learning Channel and MTV and Lifetime (yo) (You're gonna) You can watch anything you want to, man... Weird Al Yankovic

02.11.08, 18:51	#17 (permalink)
Kullanıcı Profili Prenses Alfa Üye Kullanıcı Bilgileri Üyelik tarihi: Apr 2008 Nerden: İstanbul Mesajlar: 11.417 Konular: 1154 Puan Grafiği Rep Puanı:5374 Rep Gücü:0 RD: Teşekkür Ettiği Teşekkür: 38 215 Mesajına 402 Kere Teşekkür Edlidi :	Dare To Be Stupid Dare To Be Stupid Put down your chainsaw and listen to me It's time for us to join in the fight It's time to let your babies grow up to be cowboys It's time to let the bedbugs bite You better put all your eggs in one basket You better count your chickens before they hatch You better sell some wine before it's & its time You better find yourself an itch to scratch You better squeeze all the Charmin you can while Mr. Wimpole's not around Stick your head in the microwave and get yourself a tan Talk with your mouth full Bite the hand that feeds you Bite on more than you chew What can you do Dare to be stupid Take some wooden nickles Look for Mr. Goodbar Get your mojo working now I'll show you how You can dare to be stupid You can turn the other cheek You can just give up the ship You can eat a bunch of sushi and forget to leave a tip Dare to be stupid Come on and dare to be stupid It's so easy to do Dare to be stupid We're all waiting for you Let's go It's time to make a mountain out of a molehill So can I have a volunteer There's no more time for crying over spilled milk Now it's time for crying in your beer Settle down, raise a family, join the PTA Buy some sensible shoes and a Chevyrolet And party 'till you're broke and they drive you away It's OK, you can dare to be stupid It's like spitting on a fish It's like barking up a tree It's like I said you gotta buy one if you wanna get one free Dare to be stupid (yes) Why don't you dare to be stupid It's so easy to do Dare to be stupid We're all waiting for you Dare to be stupid Burn your candle at both ends Look a gift horse in the mouth Mashed potatoes can be your friends You can be a coffee achiever You can sit around the house and watch Leave It To Beaver The future's up to you So what you gonna do Dare to be stupid Dare to be stupid What did I say Dare to be stupid Tell me, what did I say Dare to be stupid It's alright Dare to be stupid We can be stupid all night Dare to be stupid Come on, join the crowd Dare to be stupid Shout it out loud Dare to be stupid I can't hear you Dare to be stupid OK, I can hear you now Dare to be stupid Let's go, Dare to be stupid Dare to be stupid Dare to be stupid Dare to be stupid Dare to be stupid... Weird Al Yankovic

02.11.08, 18:52	#18 (permalink)
Kullanıcı Profili Prenses Alfa Üye Kullanıcı Bilgileri Üyelik tarihi: Apr 2008 Nerden: İstanbul Mesajlar: 11.417 Konular: 1154 Puan Grafiği Rep Puanı:5374 Rep Gücü:0 RD: Teşekkür Ettiği Teşekkür: 38 215 Mesajına 402 Kere Teşekkür Edlidi :	Do I Creep You Out Do I Creep You Out I know that you Don't know me very well We've barely met But I can surely tell No one will ever Love you like I do I like to feel The warm spot on your chair Sometimes I drool And usually I stare My precious one I saved that gum That you threw in the garbage You're the one I dream about But the only question with me now Is "Do I creep you out?" Everytime I shake your hand now Wanna stick your fingers in my mouth Do I creep you out? Call you every night and hang up Gonna carve your name in my leg In my leg, oh oh! Somethin' I should ask about Can I sniff the pit stains on your blouse? And do I creep you, Do I creep you out? (Your restraining order's out) (Still the only question with me now) Oh the only question (Is "Do I creep you out?") Is "Do I creep you out?" Know exactly where you live now Follow you from work right to your house Well, do I creep you out? Do I creep you out? Weird Al Yankovic

02.11.08, 18:55	#19 (permalink)
Kullanıcı Profili Prenses Alfa Üye Kullanıcı Bilgileri Üyelik tarihi: Apr 2008 Nerden: İstanbul Mesajlar: 11.417 Konular: 1154 Puan Grafiği Rep Puanı:5374 Rep Gücü:0 RD: Teşekkür Ettiği Teşekkür: 38 215 Mesajına 402 Kere Teşekkür Edlidi :	Don't Download This Song Don't Download This Song Once in a while Maybe you will feel the urge. To break into national copyright law By downloading mp3s From file sharing sites Like Morpheus, or Grokster, or LimeWire, or Kazaa. But deep in your Heart. You know the guilt would drive you mad And the shame would leave a permanent scar Cause you start out stealing songs Then you're robbing liquor stores And selling Crack And running over school kids with your car So Don't Download This Song The record store is where you belong Go and buy the CD like you know that you should Oh Don't Download This Song Oh you don't want to mess With the R I Double A They'll sue you if you burn that CD R. It doesn't matter if you're a grandma Or a seven year old girl They'll treat you like the evil Hard bitten criminal scum you are So Don't Download This Song (don't go) Pirating music all day long Go and buy the CD like you know that you should Oh Don't Download This Song Don't take away money From artists just like me How else can I afford another solid gold Hum V And diamond studded swimming pools These things don't grow on trees So all I ask is everybody Pleasee Don't Download This Song (Don't do it No No) Even Lars Urlich Know it's wrong (You could just ask him) Go and buy the CD like you know that you should (You Really Should) Oh Don't Download This Song Don't Download This Song (Oh please don't you do it or you) Might Wind up in Jail like Tommy Chong (Remember Tommy) Go and buy the CD (Right Now) like you know that you should (Go out and Buy it) Oh Don't Download This Song. Don't Download This Song (No no no no) Or you'll burn in hell before to long (And you deserve it) Go and buy the CD (Just buy it) like you know that you should (You cheap bastard) Weird Al Yankovic

02.11.08, 18:57	#20 (permalink)
Kullanıcı Profili Prenses Alfa Üye Kullanıcı Bilgileri Üyelik tarihi: Apr 2008 Nerden: İstanbul Mesajlar: 11.417 Konular: 1154 Puan Grafiği Rep Puanı:5374 Rep Gücü:0 RD: Teşekkür Ettiği Teşekkür: 38 215 Mesajına 402 Kere Teşekkür Edlidi :	Ebay Ebay Yeah A used pink bathrobe A rare mint snowglobe A Smurf TV tray I bought on eBay My house is filled with this crap Shows up in bubble wrap Most every day What I bought on eBay Tell me why (I need another pet rock) Tell me why (I got that Alf alarm clock) Tell me why (I bid on Shatner's old toupee) They had it on eBay I'll buy your knick knack Just check my feedback "A++" they all say They love me on eBay Gonna buy (a slightly damaged golf bag) Gonna buy (some Beanie Babies, new with tag) (From some guy) I've never met in Norway Found him on eBay I am the type who is liable to snipe you With two seconds left to go, whoa Got Paypal or Visa, what ever'll please ya As long as I've got the dough I'll buy your tchotchkes Sell me your watch, please I'll buy (I'll buy, I'll buy, I'll buy) I'm highest bidder now (Junk keeps arriving in the mail) (From that worldwide garage sale) (Dukes Of Hazard ashtray) (Hey! A Dukes Of Hazard ashtray) Oh yeah (I bought it on eBay) Wanna buy (a PacMan Fever lunchbox) Wanna buy (a case of vintage tube socks) Wanna buy (a Kleenex used by Dr. Dre, Dr. Dre) (Found it on eBay) Wanna buy (that Farrah Fawcet poster) (Pez dispensers and a toaster) (Don't know why the kind of stuff you'd throw away) (I'll buy on eBay) What I bought on eBay... Weird Al Yankovic

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